The Wizard That Never WOZ
by The-Wicked-Have-More-Fun
Summary: Demyx is sent hurtling into a strange new world. He must now face the Dark Witch Larx in order to get home. With the help of a cynical tin scientist, a pryo scarecrow, and Lex the Cowardly Lion-and a rather reluctant and bratty Repliku-will he get home?
1. White, Pink, Dark: Which Witch?

Yo, everyone! That's right, Lynny is back, bitches!

Anyway, this is my first piece of Kingdom Hearts fan fiction, so be gentle. This is a collaberation with a friend of mine, so the next chapter is going to be written by her. Not me. Just thought I'd get that out of the way.

Anywya, I don't own Kingdom Hearts or The Wizard of Oz. I am making no money off of this, it is purely for enjoyment. So...enjoy : 3.

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"Number nine…number nine, will you hurry…Demyx!"

"Coming! Sorry, Saix!" Demyx hurried after his frowning superior, tripping over his own feet as he hurried to the Luna Diviner. "There was this blind old lady who was having trouble crossing the street, so I stopped to help-" Saix lifted a gloved hand to silence Demyx, his expression stern and blank as usual.

"I don't care about your excuses, number nine. Xemnas sent us to Twilight Town to gather up the renegade Heartless, not to fraternize with the locals." He looked up to the storm clouds rapidly covering the dark sky, narrowing his eyes at the distant sound of crashing thunder and the brief flash of lightning. "We should be getting back soon. I don't like the looks of this weather."

Demyx tilted his head at the sky, grinning up at Saix. "Hey, kinda reminds you of that time Xaldin walked in on Larxene watching _Moulin Rouge_, doesn't it? I thought their fight would break the castle in half." After receiving a glare form his comrade, the Melodious Nocturne smiled sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. "Heh, guess not…"

Since joining the organization of Nobodies, Demyx had found he got along well with most everyone there. Even Vexen, the so-called Chilly Academic, seemed to take a slight shine to the boy, to the point of allowing Demyx to play his sitar quietly in the lab while the scientist worked. But Saix remained ever elusive in the mulleted blonde's grasps at friendship.

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About an hour later, after most of the heartless had been either destroyed or shooed away, the rain began to pour down in sheets. Now Demyx, being a water element, had no qualms with getting a little wet. But Saix couldn't help but let out a small snarl of annoyance as his usually smooth, flippy cobalt hair became plastered to his scalp. "Number nine, come. We're leaving."

"Alright, superior!" Demyx hurried through the heavy wind and rain toward Saix and the dark portal back to The World That Never Was, dragging his sitar behind him. He was within a few feet of his superior when, in a display of sheer irony, he lost his footing on the slick rooftop and crashed backward onto the edge of the building, the back of his head making a loud cracking sound as everything went black.

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Demyx groaned and flinched at the sensation of a warm tongue against his cheek. Why did his head hurt and who was licking him when he was trying to sleep? He started to swat his hand lightly, thinking maybe that Xigbar had gotten drunk again and wandered into the wrong bedroom. As his aqua eyes slowly opened his hand stopped in mid-air, staring at the pair of thoughtless yellow eyes staring back at him. "…S-Saix?" Somehow, the Luna Diviner had shrunk to the size and shape of a small dog and had begun lapping at Demyx's palm eagerly. However, the thing that struck the Melodious Nocturne was that Saix was completely naked.

The first thoughts that burst from Demyx's mouth at the sight were, "Oh man, how am I ever gonna explain this to Xemnas?!" He climbed to his feet, not seeming to notice he was no longer wet nor did he have the slightly awkward weight of his sitar or his leather coat. He began to pace back and forth, naked puppy Saix following him like, well, a puppy.

"Oh man, oh man, oh man…what'm I gonna do?" He stopped pacing, trying to smile. "Hey, Superior, you remember that mission you sent me and Saix on? Heh, well…good news! We took care of all the heartless! Bad news…well, it's not really bad news depending on how you think about it but, hahaha…Saix turned into a naked dog." He looked down at Saix, who had taken to chasing his nonexistent tail in circles. "…A retarded dog. Great, great, great…" He tapped at his forehead with his middle and index fingers, trying to think of something a little better to tell Xemnas when he noticed his hands were bare. No thick leather gloves? Weird…

His gaze traveled up his arm and to the rest of his body. His Organization coat was completely gone and in it's place were a pair of faded dark blue Converse sneakers, blue shorts and a gray muscle shirt under an unbuttoned blue and white plaid flannel shirt, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. Demyx frowned at the familiarity of the clothing, trying to place it. He was quickly sidetracked by a light tug at the hem oh his flannel shirt. He looked down.

"…Zexion?" The Cloaked Schemer arched an eyebrow, folding his arms across his thin chest. For some reason, he was dressed in a navy blue bathrobe and slippers with a pair of reading glasses perched on the end of his thin nose. Behind him about ten or so Heartless and Dusks had gathered, the smaller Heartless staring up at Demyx with large, curious yellow eyes. Saix had taken to barking at them in a high, yipping tone.

"No...I'm Zexy. That's Roxy." He pointed to a blond teenager standing a few feet away, licking away at a bar of Sea Salt ice cream. The boy gave a slight wave, dressed in black and white checkered pajama pants and holding a limp Dusk plush toy in his arms. "And that's Repliku." He gestured to a silver-haired young man dressed in a pair of flannel pajamas who looked suspiciously like a certain Keyblader. The light blue fabric was adorned with tiny black heartless and little red hearts. On the annoyed teenager the look was somewhere between adorable and comical. Zexy lowered his voice slightly, "He's new here in Munchkinville."

"Munchkinville? But I thought I was in Twilight Town." Demyx protested, picked up Saix to keep him from getting devoured by a Dusk." Indeed, the darkened area he was standing in did look much like Twilight Town square, save for the countless Heartless and Ducks watching him from rooftops and Zexy, Roxy and Repliku staring up at him like he was from another planet. The overall effect was, to say the least, unnerving.

"Never heard of it." Repliku snapped, taking a few bold steps toward the sitar player. "Now are you gonna tell us why you and your retarded dog came barging over to our neck of the woods and killed Nami?!"

Demyx visibly paled, hugging Saix close to his chest on reflex. "I-I killed who?"

Repliku rolled his eyes and spoke slower, as if talking to a two year old. "The White Witch Nami. She's the one who watches over this area of the world." He pointed to a lump of white and blond lying next to Demyx's large blue sitar. "Your stupid instrument fell on her!"

"Actually, Repliku, she's not dead." Zexy pointed out, kneeling next to the frail-looking blond girl. "She's got a serious concussion and some minor bruising, but she's not dead."

"That's not the point!" Repliku barked, shooting a glare at Zexy. "The point is her bitch of a sister is going to show up and we'll all get turned into lightning bugs again!"

"Actually," Roxy spoke up, offering a lick of his ice cream to a small Heartless. "I think she said this time we'd be fireflies."

"Are you sure, Roxy?" Zexy frowned, stepping away from the unconscious witch. "Because I remember her mentioning something about grasshoppers-"

"Grr, IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT WE'LL BE TURNED INTO! ALL THAT MATTERS IS THAT SHE'S GONNA BE HERE-" Repliku's shouting was cut off, however, by a blinding flash as lightening striking the ground near the center of Munchkinville Square. Once the initial blindness passed, Demyx's knees began to shake when he saw who, or rather, what was standing there.

"Alright, which one of you midget whores is responsible for this?!" Lumpy green facial mask, blindingly pink bathrobe and hot pink hair curlers against bright blond hair, the Dark Witch Larx glared at the cowering residents of Munchkinville (and Demyx). Never had pastels been so terrifying. "WELL?!"

The munchkins exchanged glances from their tiny huddled group and, as if with a single mind, shoved forth the Melodious Nocturne. "HE DID IT!"

"Hey-!" Demyx started to protest but stopped as he realized he was chest to nose with those horrifying blue-green eyes.

"So…" Larx hisses, glaring up at the blond. "You were the one who killed my baby sister."

"Knocked your baby sister out." Zexy corrected.

"WHATEVER!" Larx poked Demyx hard in the chest then pulled her hand away quickly, narrowly avoiding getting her fingers chomped by a growling Saix. "You have until the count of five to tell me where it is."

Demyx stopped his cowering for a moment to blink in confusion. "Where what is?"

"Five." Electricity started sparking at Larx's bare fingertips.

"But I don't know-"

"Four." More electrical discharge, forming into a ball-like shape.

"But-!"

"THREE." Larx grabbed Demyx by the front of his muscle shirt.

"I-"

"TWO!" Larx lifted her other hand, sparking lightening in all directions.

"At least let me answer-"

"ONE!"

"That's quite enough, Lar-Lar!"

The electricity quickly dispersed and Larx released the blond, turning sharply to face the Square. "This doesn't concern you!"

"Oh-ho-ho, yes it does!" A giant rosebud, which Demyx could have sworn wasn't there five minutes ago, exploded to life, scattering smaller, faintly glowing petals flying in all directions.

"Oh god, one got into my eye!" Roxy wailed and grabbed his left eye, howling in anguish.

Out of the now-bloomed rose stepped, and if no one saw this coming the author is going to shoot herself, the Graceful Assassin himself. Clad in layers and layers of shimmering pink poof and froof just a few shades paler than his layered hair, he was a vision of…well, a tall man with pink hair in a giant poofy pink dress. He stormed toward the Savage Nymph, his scythe gripped tightly in his hand as his piercing blue eyes glared down at her.

"Larx, what've I told you about showing up here, unannounced, at four in the morning?" The Pink Witch Marly scowled, one hand planted firmly on his hip while the other gripped his decorative pink scythe at his side.

"But, Mar-Mar!" Larx whined, wringing her hands. "He killed…knocked out my sister AND he took her ruby heart pendant! What do you expect me to do?!"

"Now, Lar-Lar," Marly coaxed, resting a hand on her shoulder. "How do you know he took it?"

"Because…because…I mean just look at him!" Larx scowled and pointed an accusing finger at Demyx. "No one can look that innocent and not be guilty!"

"Hey…"

"Bark!"

"QUIET!" The witch snarled at the boy and his dog, who in turn cowered again. "You see? He's got to be the one who did it!"

"Let's just see about that." Marly brushed past Larx and sashayed over to Demyx, smiling down at the frightened boy. "What's your name, sugar bean?"

The blond gulped, hoping he wasn't giving Saix shaken puppy syndrome with all the trembling he was doing. He carefully lifted his companion onto his head just in case. "D-Demyx…"

"Demyx…such a nice name…now, let's take a look shall we?" The Pink Witch suddenly lifted up the front of Demyx's shirt, pressed a warm hand against his chest. The sitar player yelped in surprise, too shocked to shove the assassin away. His chest suddenly felt slightly tighter, as if it were being lightly bound. After a moment Marly pulled his hand away and turned to Larx with a shrug. "Sorry, Lar-Lar, he's not your boy, sweet cheeks. So why don't you take Nami home?"

Larx's penetrating gaze bore straight past Marly and straight into Demyx. "Like I'm really gonna believe you. The last time I did that, you never brought back my favorite pair of black sling backs!" She took a few steps back and knelt down to pick up her fallen sibling. Nami groaned as she was moved and slung over her older sister's shoulder. "This isn't over, Marly. Not by a long shot! I'll get that heart back, if it's the last thing I do!" And, in another flash of blinding light, the two were gone.


	2. Tea Time

**I admit it. I broke down and wrote this chapter myself. But by my spleen Carl Kitty is writing the next one!**

**I own nothing. Please enjoy.**

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"I hope you know you've made a terrible enemy in Larx, Demyx. More tea?"

"Yes please." Demyx held out his small tea cup to Marly, who poured him another cup of jasmine tea. At his feet, Saix was eagerly lapping up a small bowl of milk. "I still don't know why she's after me. I mean, I never _did_ anything to her."

"You knocked her sister unconcious with your sitar." Repliku grumbled as he brought his own cup of tea, heavilly laced with milk and sugar, to his lips.

Demyx shot him a glare and insited, "By accident!"

"It doesn't matter," Zexy argued, looking up from the law book he'd been skimming through. The inside of Mayor Zexy's home was quite small so Marly and Demyx had some difficulty fitting inside. Marly especially had to crouch low and had much trouble fitting into one of the small dining room chairs through his layers of poof. Throughout the house were selves upon shelves of books on every subject imaginable. Thick volumes also littered the floor in almost ever room.

Zexy closed the law book with a sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Well, I can't find anything in here that can help you with Larx or get you home, Demyx." He took off his reading glasses and stared seriously at the young musician. "There's nothing we Munchkins can do to help you." The Nocturne gulped and looked down at his tea, watching his relection go pale in the beverage.

"What if he goes to see the Wizard?" Roxy spoke up for the first time, sitting in a chair in the far corner of the dining room with the same Shadow Heartless he'd shared his ice cream with. The pitch black creature purred softly in his lap as it's antenna were scratched. "He could probably help Demyx out."

"Roxy, you know as well as I do the Wizard hasn't seen anyone in years." Zexy frowned at his deputy. "It would be a long, periless, pointless journy for him to make on his own." Marly's low chuckle made the mayor pause and look at him quizzicly. "What are you laughing about?"

"Because I know how our little sitar player can get in to see the Wizard." The Pink Witch grinned in a way that was disturbingly similar to his counterpart. He reached over the table to grip Demyx's gray muscle shirt and lift it up over his chest.

"Hey-!" The young blode started to protest but paused when he saw what Marly had been talking about. Strapped to his chest by leafy green vines, in the exact place his heart was supposed to be, was a softly sparkling ruby cut into the shape of a heart. "Wait, is that-?"

"That's Nami's heart pendent!" Zexy short forward and practically shoved his face into Demyx's chest to examine the gem. "That's exactly what Larx was looking for!" His gray-blue eyes shot up to Marly suspiciously, pulling away from the obviously uncomfortable Nobody. "You told her that Demyx didn't have it..."

The pink-haired man shrugged innocently. "I know. I found it on the ground and fthought it was safer with our visitor. The magic it holds should keep him safe on his trip as well as get him in to see the "great" Wizard." Demyx pulled down his shirt self-conciously.

"That may be true, but how is he going to get there?" Zexy argued. "He's a complete stranger around here, he'll get lost in one of the other worlds for sure."

"We could always send him with a guide." Roxy offered, stadning up from his chair and walking toward the table with his pet Hearltess in his arms.

"And who in their right mind would go off on this kind of trip? Are you going to send Waffles with him to lead the way?" Zexy scowled and gestured to the Heartless, who shrank back against Roxy's chest.

"Stop that! You're scaring him...No, we need someone who's at least been away from Munchkinville." He glanced at Marly who shook his head.

"Don't look at me. I need to get home and water my tiger lilies." Marly stood up and frowned as he realized the chair he'd been sitting in was snuggly secured to his butt. "Not again..."

Ignoring the flowery man's plight, Zexy tapped his chin in deep thought. "Someone we won't miss...someone who knows his way around..." He paused and his gaze slowly turned to Repliku, who was silently nursing his tea still. The silver-haired teenager noticed the look and scowled.

"Uh-uh. No way." He stood up abruptly. "I'm not going anywhere with that air head and his retarded mutt-OW!" He yelped in pain and grabbed his ankle. Saix had bit him. "Besides, I have to wait here until that bit-that _witch_ lets my dad come home again!"

"Wait, Larx has your dad?" Demyx frowned and tilted his head at Repliku.

The replica huffed and nodded solemly. "He's a scientist. She came to the lab a few months ago and demanded he come to her castle. They got into a huge argugemnt and when she threatened to turn me into a textbook he finally agreed to go." He lowered his bright aqua eyes to the floor and nudged an encyclopedia with his toe. "He said to come here and wait for him..." His head shot up defiantly. "And that's exactly what I'm going to do!"

The sitar player's non-existant heart when out to the bratty teen. All he wanted was his dad back. Demyx's mind drifted to the thoughts of Vexen and his chest ached. He hoped Vexen wasn't too worried about him. "Repliku, I'll make you a deal. If you come with me and help me find this Wizard guy, I'll help you to find your father."

Repliku looked at him suspiciously, his arms folding across the heart decorated chest of his pajamas. "You're just saying that so I'll go with you."

"No, I mean it. Really." Demyx smiled and held out his head. "Friends?"

"..." Repliku hesitently took Demyx's hand and shook it slowly. "This doesn't mean I forgive you for what you did to Nami."

"Yeah, I figured as much."

"Now that this is-urgh!-settled, I think I'll-ow! Damnit!-take my leave!" Marly grunted and stumbled when he finally managed to pull the chair off his rump. Panting slightly from the effort, he staightened as much as he could manage under the small roof. "Be wary, Demyx, for your travels will not be easy. Nami's heart will protect you, but whatever you do don't let Larx get her perfectly manicured hands on it. Now if you'll all excuse me, I have a date with some pruning sheers." The Pink Witch Marly vanished in a whirl of glowing pink flower petals.

"GAH! NOT AGAIN!" Roxy clutched his eye as a flower petal once again floated savegly down into it.


End file.
